There’s a Fine Line

My pastor shared a message about “technolatry” last Sunday.

I was not in attendance but due to the wonders of technology I was able to listen to it via the church website this morning.

I’ve written before about my love/hate relationship with social media. I’m leaning towards the hate at the moment, mostly because I’m frustrated overall these days. I also believe that it’s so easy to get caught up in the gadgets that my focus becomes skewed and they control me not the other way around. (Hello days a few years ago when I planned things around Farmville….)

One of the things he said (rather strongly) was regarding the misuse of email and/or texting to avoid face-to-face serious conversations and/or confrontations (this would be my paraphrase, he said it much more eloquently).

I’ve thought about that quite a bit today, and I don’t agree totally with him. I think there are some things that should only be a face-to-face conversation. No one should break up with someone via any social media tool or via email.  I know there have even been times when I’ve said much to my surprise that an email conversation was not the best avenue of discussion because the subject was very painful and sensitive and I was not able to “read” the other person via email.

I also know that it’s dangerous (and possibly stupid) to write and emotionally charged email and send it at the height of emotion. Some things are best written, left until the next day, and then sent or revised and sent or deleted…whichever is appropriate.

But I also believe that there are some things that are so painful and difficult to talk about that email may become the safest route for doing so…because if I’m sharing something that hard and feel rejected by a look or a tone (whether real or perceived) it can be very damaging.

I’ve had a lot happen in my life over the past two years and it’s been incredibly difficult and painful.

{Bird walk} Today I am acutely aware that I am alone in the world. No matter what anyone tells you, nothing can make up for immediate family. Nothing, no matter how dysfunctional they are. Alone with no one is a very tough spot. No one to talk  you down, no one to tell you it’s going to be okay, no one to sit with you and be quiet, no one to cry with you or tell you to stop being silly…no one there. Rarely does an hour go by that I don’t miss my twin and that connection we shared. Rarely does a night go by that I don’t wish that someone cared whether I live or die. Rarely does a day go by when I don’t wonder what will happen when I die because there’s no one left but me. {End of bird walk}

I have shared extensively via email and perhaps I have over-shared. Because I’m aware of comments that no one knows get back to me and even more so of looks and actions. I’m also not oblivious to the tone in emails which would devastate me if they were to happen in person.

It’s confusing because I also was encouraged to share. Via email.

Lately, the response to emails has been minimal, if at all.

No response is a response.

There’s a fine line.

One thought on “There’s a Fine Line

  1. Yes, yes, I didn’t play WWF for a few days and I missed you for it. 😦 /hugs you/ Why don’t you call if you need to talk?

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